Divorce

How to Help Children Cope with Divorce

| June 16, 2014 | 0 Comments

Children Cope with Divorce1Every year, many kids experience stress as a result of their parent’s divorce. The manner in which they will react is highly dependent on various factors such as personality, age, as well as the specific circumstances such as divorce and separation process. Any divorce generally has negative effect on the children. In most cases, the reaction at the first instance is worry, anger, frustration, sadness, and shock. However, kids born of parents who have divorced may be able to better cope with stress, and may develop and grow to become more tolerant, flexible adults.

The roles of both parents

The parents who want to divorce have a great role to play in helping their kids cope with divorce. They can do so in various ways, some of which include the following:

  • Avoiding heated discussions, legal talk, visible conflict, and other disagreements from the kid’s watch.
  • Minimizing disruptions to the daily routines of their kids.
  • Confining negativity and blames about each other to conversations with friends or private therapy sessions. Parents should avoid telling their kids how unreasonable or inhumane the other parent is as this cause a child to create negative apperceptions about them.
  • Every parent should show concern love, and interest in the lives of their kids.

Most of the adults who are going through the difficult and challenging process of divorce need a lot of support from professionals and friends as well as from family and clergy. As a parent, never seek help or assistance from your kids as this will affect them negatively.

How do you break the news?

Nobody would like to enter into marriage in which they will be forced to get out at some point in time. In fact, many people never think of divorce at the time of marriage.

How you break the news of divorce to your kids determines how well they will cope with it? How do you it the right way?

Well, when it comes to the point in which your marriage can’t work any more, you must inform your kids. There is no easy way of breaking these news to the kids but you m should generally ensure that you leave out all the feelings of guilt, blame and anger out of the process.

To ensure that you don’t become angry or upset while breaking this news to your kids, practice how you will do so for some several days before you do it. Generally, discussion about divorce with kids should be structured to suit the temperament, maturity and age of the child. You should ensure that you make it clear that what’s going on is between the parents and not the kids. You should let the kids know that it’s not their fault and will not suffer innocently, and that even after the divorce they will continue getting parent’s love, support and care from both of you.

You can tell the kids that adults may sometimes change the amount of love they have for each other, making it difficult to agree on a number of issues, and in that situation, they can’t live together. Let the kids know that their bond with parents by adoption or birth. Parents may divorce and may disagree on various issues but kids and parents don’t.

There has never been and there will never be a divorce between parents and kids; you should let the kids know this. In general, you should ensure that you provide enough information to the kids such that they get prepared for the change which is coming up in their lives very soon. If the kids ask any questions, answer them truthfully and honestly.

KEEP IN MIND that the kids need not know or be informed of all the reasons that lead to the divorce, particularly if the reasons involve placing blame upon the other parent. Let the kids know what the divorce will mean to them, and how they will be affected, including things that will change in their daily routines and those which won’t.

If the kids are young, you may say something such as, your dad and mum, have decided to live in separate houses so as to ensure that we don’t fight any more, but this notwithstanding, we still love you. Older kids will ask questions because they may already have information or make conclusions based on how you, the parents relate or say towards each other.